I've loved thinking (and thinking) about this article and my own feelings. I think that we can be the best mother by (the process of) being our happiest and best as an individual. Sometimes that understanding needs to come before or during motherhood and sometimes it comes because of motherhood. And we each have to learn how and when it will happen for us.
So, when is a mother not a mother? I think when she neglects (like really neglects) herself and that inherent wish to be the best for her children. What do you say?